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Epic Potato Latkes

12/3/2015

1 Comment

 

Just six ingredients

Potatoes, onion, eggs, potato starch, salt and pepper, that's it. But soon you will miraculously transform them.  A few words about each:

Potatoes: Three large Russets only. They must be very firm like an apple. They should not yield to the touch which is an indication that starches are converting to sugars and will result in gumminess. Avoid potatoes with eyes or patches of green. Choose three that are large and uniform. Oh and if you are thinking of sweet potatoes or parsnips or some other avant-garde ingredient,  please exit and go visit Martha Stewart (strictly Goyem).

Eggs: Two large eggs.

Potato Starch: worth seeking out. You can find it at Whole Foods or Amazon. Matzo meal will do if you can’t find it. Never use wheat flour. Approximately ¼ cup – maybe more.

Onion: Pick a medium yellow onion. You will use ¼ for every three potatoes. No more. Your latkes should not taste of onion, but you would miss their presence if omitted.

Salt: about a tablespoon of coarse sea salt. Additional to sprinkle after cooking.
​

Pepper: grind freshly.
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Overview

This is a preview of what you will be doing. It is meant to give you an idea of the process. Ten steps, just like the ten days of Christmas (lest we forget Jesus was a jew).

​Each step should be done with fidelity.  If you stray you will still end up with excellent Latkes, if not epic.


1. Peel and dry potatoes and onion.
2. Prepare two cuts of the potatoes: a shred and a
    grind
3. Grind onion
4. A two step process to squeeze all of the liquid out of potatoes while capturing the natural starch for incorporation
5. Beat eggs with reserved starch and seasoning
6. Mix potatoes and onions
7. Blend in egg mixture
8. Perform squeeze test and adjust
​9. Fry in batches
​10. Drain and eat

Getting ready

Follow these directions carefully and you will get the best latkes you have ever eaten. With practice you will achieve epic latkes. 

The single most important factor is timing. Once you begin, you start a process that will lead directly to serving. They cannot be prepared ahead and reheated. Epic latkes are consumed within 3o minutes of completion. Preferably they are eaten as they are finished. Make it a communal experience and you will see your guests impatiently chirping like hungry baby birdies waiting for worms.


You will need some basic equipment:

1. Food processor with a fine grating wheel and the standard blade
2. A wire mesh style colander.
3. A large non-reactive bowl (glass, ceramic, or wooden salad style)
4. Wire whisk, large spoon, vegetable peeler
5. large towel
6. Slotted pancake flipper
7. Baking sheets/wire rack/paper towels
8. Large heavy sauté pan
​

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Prep the potatoes and onions

Place the wire mesh colander into a bowl that fits its circumference but has space to collect liquids underneath. Here we will drain the potatoes after they are processed.

1. Peel three large potatoes wash and dry.  Cut lengthwise to fit through your food processor’s feed tube. Put a fine grating disc and process all to produce shreds. Place in colander.

2. Swap the grating disc with the standard blade. Now remove a very scant half (somewhere between ¼ and ½) of the shredded potatoes and put back into processor. Pulse several times to the consistency shown. Do not over process. Place back into colander.
​

Cut your Onion in half. Save half for another use. Remove the papery skin and the tough outer layer on the remaining half and cut in half again. You will likely only use a quarter, depending on the size of the onion. Cut vertically to fit into your processor and pulse to a  very fine dice. Be careful not to over-process. Reserve in processor bowl. And remember if the onions make you cry, enjoy the experience Jews revel in misery.
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Extract water

This is the single most important part. Do not attempt to omit. It really is not that complicated.

You will now have both grinds of potatoes in the colander resting in a bowl, (fig a.) reach in with both hands and squeeze as much liquid out as possible. (fig b.)
​

Lay a clean towel out and place the potatoes in the middle. Distribute evenly. (fig c.) fold the bottom and top like grab the ends and twist twist twist the remaining liquid out (fig d.)
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Collect starch - add eggs

What remains in the bowl will look like figure a. foamy pinkish water which is floating on top of a starchy sludge. Gently pour off the the water and reserve the starch (figure b). It will have the texture of wet plaster. Run your finger through just to feel what lives inside of a potato.
Add two whole large eggs for each three large potatoes directly into the collected starch (figure c.). Take a wire whisk and beat the eggs and starch until incorporated and smooth. Now beat in the salt and pepper.
Lay out another dry towel and put the minced half of onion – roll and twist the towel, just like you did with the potatoes to remove the water (figure d.). ​
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The ties that bind

Latkes require a bit of binder to marry together the ingredients. The conventional binder is Matzoh Meal, which will yield acceptable results. Some recipes suggest flour. This concept is strictly goyim and will render your latkes as gummy as an old-timer at the country club.
To achieve Epic Latkes take the effort to locate potato starch. Whole Foods stocks the Swan brand as shown.  This product is light and has a special affinity for its parent product, like a good Jewish child.
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Prep for frying

Prepare a baking sheet for draining freshly fried latkes. Line with two layers of paper towels and place a wire rack inside.

Place a heavy large skillet on your burner and fill with about and inch of vegetable oil.  The very best is rice bran oil which has a high smoke point, is very light and does not add its own flavor to food. It is available on Amazon.  Peanut oil is an acceptable alternative. Canola should be avoided since it imparts a car wax-like flavor.
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Put the flame on medium high and start heating the oil while you do the final mixing of ingredients. Keep an eye on it with an instant read thermometer, when it reaches 365 degrees lower the flame to maintain.
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Mix and feel

Take your large non-reactive bowl and add a bit more than ½ of the minced onion.  Add the potatoes and mix well.(figures a, b.)
Sprinkle ¼ cup of the potato starch over the mixture. Have more handy incase it is needed. Mix well. (figure c.)
Pour the egg mixture into the dry ingredients and mix well with your hands. Next comes the “feel” test. Grab a handful in your hand and squeeze.  It should hold together but not be overly wet. If it does not hold together, sprinkle a bit more starch and test again. (figure d.)
When complete pour out any liquid which may have accumulated.
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drop and squash

This technique is critical to the epic latke. Use a large mixing spoon (with draining holes) to scoop up the latke mix press out any liquid with your fingers then drop in a clump into the hot oil Figure a.
​

Then immediately press the center to distribute. It should create a latke with some meat in the middle but crispy lacy edges Figure b.
Do not underestimate the importance of this maneuver. It takes some practice but the throw-aways will still be mighty yum. ​
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Fry away

The heat is on. Don’t crowd the pan too much and don’t be impatient on the flipping. When the edges turn golden and you see oil bubbling through little holes, it’s time for the first flip. Figure a.
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The second side will go faster watch for the edges to go dark and oil bubbling through gaps. Figure b
Remove from the pan to wire rack.
Note that your first batch will be the the test batch – fresh oil needs to break down a bit and you bill see that subsequent batches will fry faster and to a deeper color.
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Finish and repeat

Place the latkes on the wire rack with paper towels underneath. Salt them with sea salt such as Gray Salt or Fleur de Sel. Never defile them with standard iodized table salt as it is an inferior over-processed product. fi

Repeat frying, keeping an eye on the oil heat. Keep a bowl handy by the stove and remove the little bits of potato that remain in the oil lest they burn and taint the latkes with an off taste.
​

Latkes are best when freshly fried so I prefer to serve them in batches a la’
minute.  You may keep them warm for
up to an hour in an oven at 180-200 degrees but that is the absolute maximum time. After 30 minutes they lose their status as epic latkes. 
​
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Now, revel in praise

The level of detail and care it requires to produce the miracle of epic Latkes will not go unnoticed. Serve them simply with the classic accouterment of sour cream and fresh apple sauce (preferably made from scratch; it is quite easy to make). 

Praise will shower upon you and you will have to develop crowd management techniques to insure people are not injured as they trample to receive them sizzling from your spatula.
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And we should never forget the reason we eat Latkes, a celebration of a battle against barbarians who trashed our ancestor’s sacred temple. And a tiny vial of oil which miraculously burned for eight days. My guess is it was rice bran oil.
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Reader Gallery


Submitted by Laura Jane Fitton via Facebook.  Perfect with bacon (OY!)
1 Comment

How to make Real-deal bagels

10/31/2015

1 Comment

 
To make real-deal bagels it helps to have a basic knowledge of bread making: how to mix dough, knead, ferment overnight and proof. Added to this is shaping and boiling prior to baking, a process unique to the bagel. But you know what? If you are fearless and can follow a recipe, give it a try. Whatever comes out will absolutely be better then that Lenders frozen shite. I promise.

EQUIPMENT
For equipment there are two essential items: 1) an oven capable of temperatures of 500ºF or greater and 2) a large pizza stone, preferably one that covers the entire bottom of the oven. Also needed is a kitchen scale, an instant read thermometer, two racks for cooling, four sheet pans lightly oiled and one dusted with cornmeal.

INGREDIENTS
You will need good quality bread flour such as King Arthur, fast rise yeast, salt, clean water and barley malt syrup (readily available at Whole Foods or Amazon) Also you will need toppings of your choice (as long as they are sesame, poppy, dried onion, dried garlic, caraway and coarse sea salt). Absolutely no sun-dried tomatoes or chocolate chips or habañero encrusted figs. These are an abomination. Cinnamon raisin, pumpernickel and egg bagels are kosher but these will not be covered at this time.
​
TECHNIQUE
Making bagels requires a stiff dough which you will mix by hand. Your KitchenAid or food processor will break if you try to make this dough (trust me, three have died at my hand) and besides, kneading dough is an exercise that warms the soul.
​
In most bread making the objective is to have a very moist dough with just enough flour to make it easy to handle. With bagels we will do the opposite we will incorporate as much flour as possible to create the chewy dense interior that makes a bagel a bagel. For fresh warm bagels in the morning you will start in the afternoon or evening the day before.

"There are two holes of major importance
in the world of cuisine:
​the donut hole and the bagel hole." 

Overview

This will familiarize you with the process of making bagels so you know the roadmap. Then we will go into the intimate detail that will insure success.

Step One: Mix and knead the dough
Step Two: Allow to ferment overnight refrigerated
Step Three: Proof the dough (let it rise) - note this takes 3-4 hours
Step Four: Shape Bagels and allow to rise
Step Five: Boil in malted water
Step Six: add toppings
Step Six: Bake
Step Seven: Cool on racks
Step Eight: Revel in praise and Joy


INGREDIENTS:
(for sixteen bagels)

For the dough:
40oz. Bread flour
24oz. Clean water
¼ teaspoon rapid rise yeast
2 Tbs kosher salt
1 Tbs Malt syrup
For toppings: (your choice)
Dehydrated Onion flakes, dehydrated garlic flakes, poppy seed, sesame seed, caraway seed, extra-coarse sea salt.
Note: for onion and garlic soak them in water and or microwave in water for 30-60 seconds to reconstitute.

For boiling:
Large pot of water
1Tbs Malt syrup
1Tbs kosher salt
1 Tbs baking soda
For baking:
cornmeal for dusting pans

MAKING THE DOUGH

Don’t be intimidated by this page! I have included a lot of detail but this is very easy to do and takes about 15 minutes.

​I really recommend that people who are learning to bake bread mix by hand always so you can get a feel for the level of hydration (how sticky) of the dough and how the gluten develops (how elastic it feels).
If you are an experienced bread baker you can skip most of this although if you have been making your dough in a machine and haven’t done it by hand it’s a good refresher. As mentioned earlier this will be a stiff dryer dough, there is no “window test” as is common with French Bread etc.

The good news is if you can master this dough you can make any bread your heart desires.

LET’S BEGIN
Weigh 40oz of bread flour and place in bowl. Add a heaping ¼ teaspoon of rapid rise yeast and two tablespoons of salt. Mix well and make a large well in the center (fig 1).
Measure 24 ounces of clean water (if your tap water comes from a city source it likely smells of chlorine and fluorine; you know that faint swimming pool smell. Use bottled water instead) into a Pyrex pitcher add one tablespoon of malt syrup and place into the microwave and heat to 115ºF (it can be as high as 120º but no lower than 110º.  (fig 2) Mix well until the syrup dissolves and pour into the well in the flour.
​
Using a large fork begin by placing the fork at the outside edge of the liquid and start stirring around at the edge. (fig 3) Continue stirring with the fork until you have a sticky mass in the middle and then switch to a spatula. (fig 4) Use the spatula to continue to fold the flour at the outside of the mass into the dough. Once about ¾ of the flour is incorporated it’s time for your hands. (fig 5) Aggressively use both hands to continue mixing the flour into the dough (still inside of the bowl). When most of the flour (95%) is incorporated you will have a shaggy mass. Lift it out of the bowl and place it on a board that has ½ cup of flour spread. Discard any dry bits of dough remaining in the in the bowl (fig 6). Now begin kneading the dough until all of the flour is incorporated (fig 7). Cover with a damp towel and let it rest for 5 minutes. Now add another ½ cup of flour to your board and knead it in until it is all incorporated. This may take a little time and patience but all of the flour will be absorbed. 

It is essential to continue to work flour into the dough until it is stiff and there is no tackiness. Use your back when kneading.

 At this point your dough should be firm and there should be no stickiness. If it is sticky knead in more flour ¼ cup at a time until it is the right consistency.
​
You now should have a nice elastic ball of dough (fig 9). Spray or oil a vessel that is at least twice the volume of the dough ball, place it inside then lightly spray or oil the top of the dough. (fig 10) Loosely cover with plastic wrap then place a damp towel on top and immediately refrigerate (fig 10, 11, 12) overnight or longer. You could freeze the dough at this point for a week or two but I suggest get your first batch or two under your belt before getting all fancy. Now sip some bourbon or take your Ambien and go to sleep (I don't recommend mixing the two though - check with your doctor.

...NEXT DAY

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fig 13
 When you arise do two things before brewing your coffee: take all of the racks out of your oven place your stone on the bottom and preheat at the highest temperature, preferably north of 500ºF. It is best if it preheats for at least two hours, three is even better. Then remove the dough from the refrigerator and place in a warm place. If you have a second oven heat it to 100ºF. Turn it off then place in your container of dough. Otherwise any warm corner will work. It's important to note this takes 3-4 hours for the chill to come off and the dough to rise. So if you want bagels for brunch, do this at 6:00 am and if you are sleepy just go back to bed.

Get the water for boiling ready
​
Get a large wide pot and fill it ¾ with water. Add 1 Tbs. each of salt, malt syrup, and baking soda. Mix well. (fig 13) Later when you begin forming the bagels you will turn it on and bring to a simmer.

Dividing the dough

 Allow the dough to proof until grows another 50% in volume. (fig 14) Once completed flour your board and turn the dough out onto it. (fig 15)

Now it’s time to form the dough. The technique described here borrows from classic french bread-making. There will be a process of shaping which will end up with  small dough balls. You will then poke a hole in the middle and give it a little twist. If you follow these directions you will develop a nice gluten cloak on the ball that will help create a perfectly shaped bagel through boiling and baking.
​
NOTE:  If the following section seems too complicated feel free to just divide the large dough ball in to eight pieces and roll them into balls however you like then proceed to the hole-making section. (I can’t vouch for how they will turnout however).

This recipe is meant to produce 16 bagels approximately 4 oz each (pre-baked). Hmmm. Sixteen? Why not one dozen or two? To make the process as easy as possible it is designed to be finished as two batches of 8. Eight bagels will fit in most pots easily for the boiling and will fit on a standard pizza stone.
​
Sprinkle the top  of your dough with a bit of flour and make a fist. Now visualize the bonehead who cut you off on the highway or that rude dolt in front of you in the 10 item express line with a basket containing 16 items and pound the heck out of the dough (Fig 16). This will release the gases and redistribute and energize the yeast. When you are done it will look like figure 17.
Now cut the circle in half (fig 18) and fold each one like a postal letter (remember letters? Fig 19).
Now fold like a letter again from left to right. (fig 20). Next pick up one and hold it in one hand then gather up the edges with the other hand and grab hard. Let gravity help by allowing the dough to hang (fig 21). Then seal the bottom by pinching and flip it over. You will have two large boules now. Cover and let them rest for five minutes.

The shaping process

The following video gives an overview of how to shape the individual dough balls and form them into bagels. detailed instructions follow.


Now follow along the instructions to replicate what you saw in the video.
​Before continuing take a moment and turn up the heat on your pot of water. Cover it and maintain at a low simmer.

You now have two large relaxed balls ready to go (fig 22). Each will make eight bagels. Wrap one loosely in plastic wrap and cover with a damp towel. Now flatten the remaining ball with the heel of your hand (fig 23). Next cut the disc into eight pieces as shown in fig 23. A pizza cutter works well if available.

At this point you will form eight dough balls, soon to be born as real-deal bagels. It is best to work quickly, but your first time through take your time just keep the reserved dough covered with a damp towel.

Now grab a piece and fold it into three like a letter (fig 24). Flip it so it is seam side up and press your thumb into it (fig 25). Now grasp the edges and pull it up tight, forming a nice ball (fig 26). Now press your thumb again into the seam and repeat pulling up the edges. Finally pinch the seam tightly and place seam-side down and place on a clean board. Note there should be no flour on the board, we want some friction for this part. See the video below for the pinching process.

With you hand stretched as shown press your palm into the ball and roll around on the board to smooth. Press hard. Next cup your hand as shown and roll the dough  around pressing firmly until it makes a nice smooth ball.. Repeat for all eight.


And now for the hole

​And now onto the famous hole. Take a moment to feel your chi for you have arrived at a place few others have. There are two holes of major importance in the world of cuisine: the donut hole and the bagel hole. However, even the donut does not elevate to the level of the bagel since there are many donuts that do not feature a hole. The bagel simply is not a bagel without a hole. And now I bequeath you the power to make bagel holes.

Grab a ball and press two thumbs into the center and puncture through to the other side as shown in fig 27. Then insert your four middle fingers from the other side and stretch while rotating on your fingers (fig 28). Repeat until you have a well formed hole. Now push three fingers into the hole (keep these instructions in the kitchen folks) fig 29. and press the dough onto the board and roll forward and back (fig 30). Work your way around the entire bagel. Finally (this is an optional move) put your finger in the middle and give the dough a twist with your other hand (fig 31)– this will replicate the old world style of rolling bagels. Place on a lightly oiled sheet (fig 32). Repeat for all eight, keeping the completed ones covered with a damp towel. Set aside and allow to rise for about 30 minutes (fig 33).

Now repeat the process for the second batch of eight. By time you are done, the first batch should be risen and ready to boil.


"Noah's or Einstein's are the Chef Boyardee of bagels"

BOILING - WHAT MAKES IT REAL-DEAL
​

Turn up the pot of water to a high simmer and drop the bagels in one at a time. within a couple of seconds they will rise to the surface.(fig 34). Set a timer for two minutes and then flip them and simmer the other side for two minutes. Gently remove them one by one to a rack to drain (fig35). Now sprinkle with your choice of the approved toppings and press lightly. The tacky surface will hold the seeds perfectly (fig 36).

The videos below show the boiling process. Gently drop the bagels into the simmering water. Be careful of backsplash or carefully lower them in with a wooden spoon handle inserted in the hole.

The second video shows the bagels after one side is done and they have been turned. Note they will rise in size during the boiling and not in the oven like bread.


BAKING THE BAGELS

Almost there! Your bagels have been mixed, fermented, formed, risen, boiled, enrobed in seedy goodness and now we bake.
​
Once again I will remind we must have a very hot oven and a stone which has been preheated for at least two hours – three even better. We will transfer the boiled bagels directly to the stone where the surface will experience the Maillard reaction which will caramelize. The outer surface will get a thin, crackly surface that is the signature of a real-deal bagel. So let’s bake.

Have your pan which has been dusted with cornmeal ready (fig 37). Place each bagel on the cornmeal sheet to coat the bottom. This will keep it from sticking to your stone and act like little ball bearings so they easily slide around. After the dip, carefully place them directly on the stone. (fig 38-39) Do not try to move them until a crust forms, so use good aim.
​
Now close the door and watch. I can’t give you an exact time because every oven is different but the range is 10-15 minutes. Fig. 40 shows a bagel at five minutes. You can see the characteristic shine developing as well as the blisters. At this point look for any signs of uneven browning and you can move them around to promote even baking.
When they are nice and brown and blistery, remove them to a pan with a cooling rack (fig 41). Now you can step back and inhale, take in the delicious aroma and take pride in your work. But don’t forget, your second batch will now be ready to boil and bake so repeat the process.

After 30 minutes, they will be at the height of perfection so slice, schmear and eat!  fig (42)

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EPILOG

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Congratulations I am sure you have been lavished with praise and adoration as people are amazed at your baking prowess. The good news is a few more batches under your belt and it will become very easy. Mix the dough before you go to bed on a Saturday night and you will have real-deal bagels for your Sunday brunch.

With all the love and care you just put into your bagels you now understand why a fresh bagel should never be toasted, and you should be appropriately indignant when some luddite requests the toaster. 

And while we are on the topic of desecration of your fresh bagel. Do yourself a big favor and get some real cream cheese. Philadelphia brand isn’t even close. The ingredients in commercial cream cheese look like this: Pasteurized Milk, Cream, and Skim Milk, Stabilizers, (Xanthan Gum, and/or Carob Bean Gum, and/or Guar Gum) ascorbic acid, Cheese Culture, Salt. It’s a gummy bland mess.

Fresh cream cheese is clean and tangy with live cultures and pure dairy – you can find some at Whole Foods in the cheese section or at any cheese shop. Gina Marie is a good quality brand.

One final thing. Feel free to adorn your bagels as you wish, but at least one time make the minimalist smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich as shown left. Here you will experience the amazing goodness of the bagel you have created. Get the best cream cheese and hand sliced salmon you can find and enjoy. Better yet, I can teach you how to make your own cream cheese and cured salmon and then you can have an unparalleled purity of experience. Yum.

​...Coming soon: Real-deal smoked salmon and Real-deal cream cheese.


Gallery of bagels from readers

Here are submissions from the brave readers who actually made real deal bagels

From Chris Ruggeri of Intrinsic Yachts in Maryland - Chris put his bread and pizza making skills to work
And from colleague at DFJ Jade Tran - a life-long baker taking her first shot at bagels

Not perfect but a valiant first try...#bagels #baking #gluten #weekendwarrior #somuchbutter

A photo posted by Jade (@therealjadetran) on Nov 22, 2015 at 3:48pm PST

Sources:

J. Kenji López-Alt Managing Culinary Director Serious Eats - the great bagel manifesto
Julia Child The Way to Cook
Food Farmer Earth  Authentic NY Bagels
Peter Rheinhart The Bread Baker's Apprentice
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1 Comment

    Barry Schuler

    Fundamentalist Cuisine - cook all your food from scratch and bring your tastebuds back to life

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